The Nurse's Office

One of my kindergarten aged sons (I'll call him Billy) was asked by his teacher to escort two other classmates down to the nurse's office. After some time had passed, the teacher became concerned that the three students still hadn't returned. She decided to call down to the nurse's office to see if there was a problem. The phone rang and rang, and just as the teacher was about to hang up, a small voice answered: "Hewo?" (My son still pronounces the letters `l' and `r' as a `w'. His speech is currently a strange mix of such mispronunciations and a Staten Island accent. I have no idea how that happened, but I blame my wife. Anyway, I digress...)

So the teacher, obviously taken aback that the person on the other end of the phone was a student and not the nurse, responded "Hello, who is this?" The voice on the other end answered, "This is Biwwy. The nurse isn't hewe wight now. Caw back water (later)." And with that he hung up. The teacher, surprised and amused at the turn of events, decided to call back. Again the phone rang several times. Again the phone was picked up, and a small voice said "I towd you, the nuwse isn't hewe wight now, caw back water!!!". And with that, Billy hung up the phone.

Billy's teacher, hysterically laughing at this point, calls down to the office and tells this story to the secretary, dialect included. Now the office personnel are having a good laugh, and a secretary walks down to the nurses' office to tell the kids to return to their classroom.

When the secretary sees the 3 children, she says, `Who was answering the phone in here?' At that point, the 2 little girls that had been escorted down by Billy immediately sold him out and pointed at him. So the secretary asks, "Why did you answer the phone Billy?"

Billy responded, "Cause it was wingin' and wingin' and wingin'. It was givin' me a headache!"

Michael Paul Miller is the author of the recently published children's book "Kid Tales". For more information on the author and "Kid Tales" visit http://www.kidtales.net/.